The Generosity of Self Care

 In Mental Health & Wellbeing

When you fall ill, you most likely take time off from work and commitments to give your body the rest it needs to recover.  When you are struggling with depression, anxiety or another mental illness and you are having a tough time, do you care for yourself in the same way? Do you give yourself permission to really rest and do what you need to help yourself feel better? Most likely, no. Many of us deny our vulnerability and as a result, the illness gets worse.

While we can’t take days off every time we have a rough day, we can take more responsibility for our own self-care. And if you’re a caregiver for children, elders or someone who needs you, your emotional health is just as important as your physical health. Here are the 7 key areas to be attentive to your mental well-being:

1.  Stress Relief
Even though you may try to ignore it, stress catches up with you. It can damage the body and worsen symptoms of mental illnesses. It increases anxiety, causes us to eat poorly, prevents us from sleeping properly and can put stress on relationships. While it’s impossible to eliminate all stress in life, it’s crucial to come up with healthy ways to help you deal with it. What works for you? Meditation, deep breathing, gardening or talking to a friend?

2.  Nutrition
Both good and bad moods can come from food. When you’re stressed or depressed, you are more likely to crave and eat simple carbohydrates, like white bread, cookies or candy. These foods boost your mood and energy for a short period of time, but then they cause you to crash shortly after. In addition to eating a healthy, balanced diet, don’t forget to stay hydrated. When you get dehydrated, you can get cranky and even feel disoriented.

3.  Sleep
Sleep is one of the most important elements of self-care. It affects neurotransmitters, stress hormones, thought processes and emotional regulation. Too little can make it difficult to make decisions, solve problems and control your emotions and behavior. Simply put, everything seems worse when you don’t get enough sleep. Create a health sleep schedule to improve a full night’s sleep.

4.  Connection
When you don’t feel well, it’s easy to stay in the house and avoid the outside world, but social connection is very important. Humans are social animals who crave interaction with others. As difficult as it is to do, try to take the initiative to reach out to others. If you’re feeling down, you may need to push yourself to connect. The best way to meet other people is by joining other doing something you like: take a class, join a book club, volunteer. It will put you outside of your comfort zone, but when you make connections and begin socialize, you will start to feel the positive benefits. Over time, the loneliness will fade.

5.  Physical Activity
Although it seems impossible to think about exercise when you’re depressed or anxious, you can’t argue with the research—exercise helps. Any form of light exercise is enough: walking, running, cycling, swimming, dancing and even gardening can all help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. Try not to think about it as exercise and think about an opportunity to care for yourself. A gift! Starting out with something small, like walking to the neighborhood coffee shop, then the next day try to go a little further. The combination of fresh air and movement will help your mind and body. .

6.  Be Kind
If your partner or best friend came to you and told you they were having a rough time, would you brush them off? Would you tell them to suck it up and push through? Most likely you would be much more empathetic and offer support and comfort. Most people hold themselves to higher standards than others because they feel selfish when they are kind to themselves. In reality, it’s important for our health.

7.  Spirituality
Spirituality is at the core of our humanity. It is where we experience our deepest, most vital connections to life. Spirituality is also a fundamental part of music, art, dance, creativity, athletic endeavors and the natural world. Compassion, contemplation, and meditation also have spirituality at their core.

Spirituality invites an awareness of our existence and the meaning of our moments. However, in stressful and difficult times, it is challenging to call our on spiritual resources. We can feel a lack of connection to others and to the things that are meaningful to us. Here is where spiritual practices like prayer and service are vital to self-care. Spiritual practices honor the Holy Spirit in us that is energized by the people, activities, moments and places that matter the most to us. Practicing gratitude, meditation, prayer, creative expression, community service and self-compassion help strengthen our spiritual connections and our inner coping resources. Likewise practicing forgiveness and radical acceptance can free us up to be even more generous with our love, time and talents. All of these practices support other wellness and self-care practices and help us manage stress and challenging times.

(Adapted from “7 Elements of Self Care” by Cheryl Bundy, MAR, MPA; Chaplain and Spiritual Counselor, https://silverhillhospital.org/community/blog-post/7-elements-of-self-care/ )

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